Monday, November 28, 2005

EMPTINESS!!! (a poem)

the sad is saddened,
the happy is tryin.

things are goin fast,
things are at the last.

singin my fav song,
but what took me so long?

memories never to forget,
but emptiness is what u get.

rough times crawlin on u,
strangers brawlin at u.

they are strippin the innocent,
they are mockin the intelligent.

they are strippin the innocent,
they r mockin the intelligent.
emptiness is still what u get..
emptiness and emptiness............................................



Sunday, November 20, 2005

time is changing....but for worse!!

i know the above statement is definately one of those pessimist kinda comment and nevr changin cynical point of view of that of a cynical person for!!!!!

"i sit and talk to god,and he just laughs at my plan."

it's not only the lines tht i'm listenin to from the song,"feel" by robbie,but it's smthin tht i have been insisting myself to do so,only to change the pace of the time thts running along with me..

nthin gr8 has been goin on with me these days,and i know for sure tht it will go on for some more time.
how much more time left for this uneasiness to subside.....CN'T SAY?

the pandora box has been opened by the ppl around me,but it's me,goin through the after effects of it,or shall i say tht the reprucussion of aftershocks of the earthquake (i.e-bad karma of the ppl around me),has taken over my conscious,my patience and my fuckin lil innocent brain,which used to be,once upn a time,as calm as the river..
river?......hmmm,always on the move sans distaction...thus the calmness,but these days,my brain has been functionin in the opposite direction..

it's's freaky.
it's's old.
whatever it is....
it's a PARASITE!!!!
parasite...persistently indefinate one,without leaving the doors open for a lil cure and a pinch of warmth...
warmth or cure,anythin and any one wud do, cos any one of out the two will help me balance me...
but it's the emptiness tht i get.

i want to write more...but see..time has its rules too..


(wud love to cont someday..if this fuckin time permits me to do so...i still havn't figured out wat makes me the saddest,but time does play an important role in this...not tht i'm scared,but it's my curosities tht kills me...and when ppl around u take advantage of tht,it's even worse)

Friday, November 18, 2005

my trip to goa!!!!

hey bloggers..
well,as u all have forgotten by now...but there was this promise tht i made to u all....and i havn't fulfilled tht till mean of me....
well,remeber i had to write bout my trip to goa...ahhhh!!!now u remember tht promise tht was made by me..sry i kept u all waitin...
but guess wat,i'm gonna post bout my tripto goa now...
i know it's been decades since all of us have been there...and mirage and milo have got u all updated....
i'm really really sry to keep u waitin.....but here it update on my trip..

(finally it's

Well,I need not to explain where all we went,and what we did,cos my dear frnds,mirage and milo,have done tht work for me…hahahaha
Anyhow,tht was a general view of what we all did in the trip,but here as I finally update my blog with a new post,as per the request,the Goa’s trip,so I thought of not givin u the same kinda update tht my folks have done for u.i’m sure by now u all have got where all we went and how much fun we had…
So,I thought of givin my nitions on what I felt bout Goa,and the kinda exploration we did,regardin my discovery on the place tht I went for the first time.
The trip was good,though not the way as i had expected it to be.thought of the trip to be better,cos it was the opposite to what all I had thought bout goin around in Goa.all thnks to the supervisors and the
nevertheless,the best thing tht i liked bout Goa was the people.they were so sweet and hospitable.
out of the 4 days trip,there was this day when all of us had gone to panjim to do some shoppin.i was accompanied by 2more frnds of mine,Hand Prena.the ironical part is tht none of us are impulsive shoppers,so we didn't feel like goin around the markets just to shop after we bought some Goan wine and wodka, we waitied for the rest of our folks near the bus.
soon we got bugged waitin, so we thought of gettin into someone's place to interact inorder to kill our boredom.
we got into this house lying tht we wanted water to drink,thnks to miss Hazel for doin so. She was an old lady who called us in and besides givin us water,she gave us something to eat too, and then we conversed bout various things like bout our trip,Goa’s beaches, the disadvantages of havin tourists in Goa, for Goa is getting really dirty.
[this is a request to u all,frm my side on the behalf of the lovely ppl frm Goa, who havn’t said anything to u till now, in particular the tourists…enjoy as much as u want,but plez dn’t mess up the place with ur enjoyment. Goa is really pretty ,especially its beaches,but u know wat,they r equally dirty, it has even become hard to see their beauty..I had to analyze its beauty, by chucking the mess out of it..but alas,thts only my imagination…]
The house tht we went into, was owned by this old catholic couple who originally had some instincts of tht of tht of a Portuguesse. They offered us some Goan sweets and wine .
We had a great time talkin to this couple.
What amazed us the most was the way they had maintained their house with antiques and catholic paintings around wich wud remind u of the houses built durin the olden times.
Though it was time for us to leave,we were partly sloshed,but we still managed to get photographs clicked with the couple.
We went to a lot of beaches and visited most of the temples and churches of Goa, but wat i liked the most of it was Anjuna Beach.

Rocks that are formed geomatrically, with coconut trees around. The water that was so blue and the sky tht was clear, and with the settin of the sun, wud only make u fall in love with it.
there was this line of rocks separatin the main beach and a small piece of land(say bout 30ft).we went to that little beach, as i wud call it, and saw smthin more beautiful then wat i had seen.Hazel, Prena and i were spell bounded by its beauty, we stayed there around 2 hrs with nobody around,except the water touchin our feet.we felt really nice,especially when the sun started to set and when its rays were reflected on the rocks tht surrounded us,which were in deep almond red colour.
whn it was time to go,we were hesitant,but we had i'm glad we got a chance to see smthin tht was extraordinary. luckily we had our camera to capture all tht we wanted to,but honestly speakin,wat our eyes saw the camera cudn't capture them.
i saw this,i saw goa.i met those people,i got connected with them.this is wat i wanted to do and this how i wud loved to do if i come again to goa..The land of extraordinary like Anjuna (in beauty) and in mannerisms (the old couple).
i dn't how well have i put forward my thoughts to u in regard to wat i saw of goa and wat i liked of it.but this wat i can all say bout Goa.i only wish to come here again and see Goa from my point of view.i hope to do tht soon.

have fun....

Saturday, November 12, 2005

my iris(photography)

"indefinate accusations of troubles in my life"

here i am...
back with smthin new once again....

i know i made u all read my diff kinds of ramblings,made u love my poem

drew sketches, though liked by

but now,i'm gonna post some pics for the first time tht has been clicked by me.
honestly speakin,i'm obssesed with the field of photography...

it has helped me test my innovations,my creativity...
it has helped me widen my thoughts n smthin tht is not only beautiful,but smthin tht can be memorable too,for me...

i dn't wanna go on dotin bout how i feel bout this art,and try to prove my point how such fragments of my imaginations can be those tiniest things tht can end up being the most preetiest thing ever occured in my life...
how superficial are these thoughts tht i just wrote (thts what u all must be thinkin),but if only u knew wat it is like to capture smthin tht u wudn't have been able to, if there was no camera....

anyhow,let's kick start my blog, with the first pic....
as i wud call it..."indefinate accustations of troubles in my life"....
well,the title says it all...

life aint easy...but we have to live on!!!!!

take care

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

i got tagged

hey fellas,
both the post,bout the aquarius,and the one below it,have been compiled in my blog and is particularly for those who have tagged me,and for the ones who will soon tag me....kindly do not tag me any further, cosi had to buckle my seat to finish my tag and tht has fucked me more than just gettin irritated...

anyhow,now tht i'm done with the tag...
happy readin to all of u..
no hard feelings bout what i jst's jst tht i hate writtin anythin bout myself....
a lil reserved,not on conventinal matters,but i dn't enjoy doin so.....

annonymous zodiac writer:AQUARIUS


If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry.
She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed. Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader,a real confident type. She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself,opening the door herself.

Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that.

She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he
has a chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction.
She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society.

She dares to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.

Even if she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone,she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony.Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again,because she looks at the world positively and has faith in the word "Love".

She loves "Freedom"; so before and after marriage,her freedom has to
be the same.

She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow.

She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you. She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan".

Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she is sad , be understanding.
When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that.
You will not get bore with this type of girl.
Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman.

She has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK.

If she gets mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of "pay Back" time. Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her.

If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bored you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

"tagged" ...freaked me

hey folks,
i know u all have been taggin me for long....and now,i must truly confess,i have been reaqlly fucked up by it,so i gave up on my patuence,and decided to complete the tag proposed by a lot of individuals....
reason for this delayment,i hate to write anytin bout me straight....i have been writtin a lot of stuff bout my state of mind and perceptions through my various ramblings,poems and most recently,my graffiti sketches....
i still cn't gather my patience to write bout myself....
to be brief,i can only repeat what i have written in my profile:

cn't live without books and music....

count of monte cristo,rock cage,motorcycle diaries,the moth smoke, biography of stanley kubrick,jim morrison,beethoven.....blah-blah-blah,,are some of my favorites...but i cn't wait to read the biography of woody allen,eventhough i'm n the verge of readin some law books,an absolute exception to the course tht i'm presently persuin with.....journalism....

i can rely on any kinda music,as long as it swims smoothy with the mood...most of the time,i listen to rock,it revitalises my energy....anything will do-creed,the doors,pearl jam,linkin park,metallica and plethora of other such acts help me soothen my senses...infact stuff like judas priest,black sabbath and megadeath also do wonders for me....WONDER HOW!!!!!!

i enjoy watchin movies as well,the only source of entertainment,as it is,i own no television...thnk god for consumes so much of time,and makes u so bloody lethargic.....
bsides the most common entertainment of all,bollywood and hollywood films,i'm ardent lover of foreign films....motorcycle diaries,the officer's ward,red,white and blue,nickel and dime,are some of the stuff i enjoyed watchin...but if u wnat me to sound normal...well,there are many films tht i thoroughly enjoyed watchin from universal brands:holly and italian job,naach,apocalypase now,citizen kane,kyun ho gya naa,mystic river, girl interrupted,an lots of others....and ofc...tom n jerry!

what else do u all wanna know.....hmmm..
i hate brick battin bout others,and if i feel smthin is not right,then i'm honest bout it,and if i feel someone is tryin to hamper my right or is wrong bout certain things,i get pretty adamant bout it....and spak on to the person's face,even if the person is older to me....i know thts really harsh of me,but atleast i dn't hide things,neither do i deny them or disguise them in the manner tht it sounds flashy to others,but to me it wud only make me realise how phoney i can i wud prefer honesty...

i hate talkin much,or shall i say,i hate jabberin uselessly...
i'm always bored,even if i'm not...u will see me most of the time with my headphones plugged in my ears...well,like i said...i cn't breathe without any music,besides stays on, 24/7,with me...

i have no bfs...and i'm glad i dn't have any.... i hate talkin bout nthin important,but only wastin my time chattin bout smthin called love,or let's put it this way,"candy floss kinda love"....24/7!!

i've had crushes who have been 4-6yrs elder to me,and its still consistent,thts bcos i find them more mature,sensible and someone i can talk to regardin anythin except the inconsequential

i'm a horse rider,swimmer and a dancer...i enjoy graffiti art,and i indulge most of my time in photography:my obsession,and have dreams bout makin it big in the field of documentary filmmakin...lets' see,how far does it go....

thts all i can say,u want more,well i guess the stuff some annonymous person wrote bout my zodiac sign:aquarius,will help u know me more,cos whatever he has written,is true,definately simillar to what my thoughts and life style is like...there are some mistakes in ther manner it has been written,well...blame it on the person who wrote it,i only had to copy it down on my post....hahahahaha

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

another sketch

hey fellas,
i'm back with another grafitti sketch...
another one taken from Linkin Park's idea,but from another album,"meteora"...
anybody,who has seen the documentary film of the makin of meteora,have definately seen this one....
it's called "The Brain Man"...

i'm still in jammu,with my mom...
y day was diwali,and my grand ma,my mom and our servant,rakesh ('rakshash'-evil in eng)..i call him by tht name...hahaha,celebrated diwali...i really missed my bro and my dad,who are out working...infact the truth bro is workin,but my dad,i have no clue,cos he's not with us...and honestly speakin...i missed him the most....havn't even seen him for the last 5 yrs...but this time,he's comin over to see me in the mid-nov....wonder,how will i react.....

anyhow,LP has not only great vibes in music,and in art as well...

this one is one of my fav,and it also emanates my side of nature....anger!!!
[i feel like laughin at myself right now!!!!!!!!]

one song that i wud like to end this post with,

Let It Out:Hoobastank

"This is ours, we made it with our everything
Something real, as real as it could ever be
You gave me all of yourself, I gave you all of me
Now set it free from yourself, for everyone to see

I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm gonna show you how I feel
I'm not afraid to let it out
(who cares if you dont like it)
(if you don't like it)

Go ahead, you know just what you want to do
Don't deny, you feel cause I feel it to
Take a look all around, you'll feel it in the air
From the sky to the ground, I feel it everywhere
I'm not afraid to let it out
I'm gonna show you how I feel
I'm not afraid to let it out
(who cares if you dont like it)"

wonder,how far this song has made sense to u all in connection to this post,but i guess it does to my current state of mind and the definately,the sketch..

The Brain Man....
this one is my

"Angry Man" ...... (mort pour rien)

[ppl who know french,has got the meanin of this...right)

take care,
with love

......the girl interrupted!