Saturday, January 12, 2008

i erased the safety "pin"

ATTACHMENT...u know it,all of u,wat it is to be attached to a person or vice-versa....it's a nice feelin...maked u feel loved and definately avoids the feeling of lobeliness....

my point of view.......attachment is like this safety pin pains bleedingly when pushed through ur skin....tht's precisely the reason y i neither let anyone get attched to me and the other way round too....i know i have been sulking,thnks to the "loneliness" tht invaded into me, and still does...tht's wat the poem was about prior to this one...(look below)....i'm glad i wrote tht,it did help me express certain intangible feeling tht would have been impossible to get rid of...but it has wanned....i remember in one of my phone conversation with my boss,who is infact a well-known director (i refuse to name him),told me tht everyone here is alone,eventhough loneliness hurts a lot...ofcourse he did give me some "nice" tips to ge rid of it....but u know wat sir,i'm not in the sulking phase anymore...i'm extremely happy with "this"....cos i manged to get the "safety-pin" off me.....

I remember seeing this film yester night where this woman has dogs to give her company instead of getting entangled in the issue of marriage…I’m not really sure what guys do to maintain their loneliness when they r in love with it…probably play along with their gadgets…whatever…

I like to run (I know I have already mentioned tht)…not tht I’m an athlete..i don’t even have tht kind of stamina…but whenever I set myself on those rough n stony tracks,all ready to push through the chilly breeze(as for today,delhi is still chilly)…today,after weeks,i set myself again-RUN, (can’t understand y I take long breaks…probably to avoid the tedium…cos it is something tht distresses me instantly)….and while running,after I had completed four rounds sans breaks,n when I was in the middle of my fifth,my last round for today, I had these figures behind me—chasing,running after me,trying to get hold of me.. or was it me? Half way left to conclude my last round,I could see all those figures coming more n more closer to me..n then,I just increased my speed…I could feel my heart thumping n my breadth quickned..i was actually sprinting..not to finish the run,but to get rid of wat was behind me…it was haunting to see them tryin to space up with me….n then I ran…as fast as I can..i wasn’t tired anymore…n suddenly,I saw those figures slowly lagging behind me,n there I saw them hooked to a tree…all were motionless,except for me….my folks,my friends,my associates including the person tht I look upto whom I’m working for…all were still…not an inch moved….the last stop n I stopped running too…I was panting for breadth,but I didn’t look behind (for the human figures)..i know they were my self-created illusions…but I was thrilled to grab the air of victory…I outdid them,their attachments….

I know tht’s being very mean…but it also accounts to pain…..