wat's MY story...morning GLORY???

had to get up at 8,to collect sources for my project on documentary films....
but cudn't...................................................................................................

woke up at 10...put the system on,wich is only an arm distance away frm the place where i was lazing(my bed)...

aahhh...there it goes.."hey you"...the floyd
made some coffee...BLACK ofc,n put some honey in it,with less sugar...tht's how i like it...
got the mornin papers...

10.30...
finished the coffee,
finished readin the papers....
in my bed once again.....sleepin till 3

3.30,the radio is on....
made another cup of coffee...
out in my balcony...till 5pm...

no food...no hunger...
there it goes,another...but a small cup of coffee....

read huxley's point counter point......

now,i'm here...
Metallica is rockin my evenin,while i take another sip frm my 2nd glass of red wine...

it's 7.45pm,cooked some food for the dinner.....
watch a film..

today i'll be watchin,jism...i guess so!!! :)

by 1,i'll hit the bed again...
hopefully i get up early to work for the research on my topic for the project.....

hahaha

sry for tht title....

i hate gettin up early...

but i love to sleep during the day...

hahaha

WHAT'S THE POINT??

head on the table,
facing the cell.
eyes are waiting,
ears are stranded for a bell..

i go out alone,
looking for someone.
i go back home,
waiting for no one..

happiness accompanies me,
till i unlock the door.
dissappointment attacks me,
seeing my reflection on the floor..

i place my bag on the chair.
i walk through the room.

the stereo is on.
the coffee is done.

no one around,
but i'm happy.
no one to talk to,
makes me deliriously happy..

i delude my own thoughts,
and pander over it.
i denude my self-being,
debauchery treates me relentlessly..

SICK!!
i get sick of it.

i walk out,
and grab a breadth..

something belongs to me,
but nothing comes.
standing in the balcony,
eyes are wondering around..

head held high,
watch the clouds go by.
the sunlight begins to fade,
the night starts to invade..

thoughts are capsulated,
suffocated and defeated..

it's been fenced,
by doubts and intents..

head on the table,
facing the cell again.
eyes are still waiting,
ears are standed for a bell.................

"ZINDA" (brilliant film..now my fav)

today,i finally got the opportunity to see the film,tht i had been waitin for ever since i got it's album...
ZINDA.....a film.....
maybe a hindi film,but it was different...it was treated in a different manner as well....
the story may not be original,but the work put in it,was incredible....
as far as my obsession for filmmakin(prefarably,documentary filmmakin),confesses,i was enthralled by the camera work...
i'm not here to give u the story of the film...no..no..no..i dn't want your curosity to end,cos i want all of u to watch the film...it's truly brilliant...
it's a dark film..
normally what happens with a dark film is when u see a film of such a quality and content,u tend to divert ur attention to smthin lighter...
but when i was watchin this film,i jst cudn't let go off my attention n my eyes off the screen....i got engrossed by the film,to an extent,tht i jst fell in lv with the darkness of the story,knowin what the meanin of tht "darkness" is in the film...
and the acting done by the stars was brilliant too....
startin from the least important ones to the main protagonist...wich is as follows..

CELINA-well,she was the only one who actually put a disgrace on the film tht has been made so well....this dame really dsn't know how to act....thnk god,she barely has 5 mins role in the film....though, she looks more like a frog to me....

LARA-she did wat she was asked to...so tht was fair enough and enough justice done to her role...she was more like Basanti of urban India in Bangkok..(tht's where the film has been shot...whole of it)

JOHN-cn't tell u....the story will be revealed...but he was very good...i'm not very fond of him,but i really liked him in his first film,"Jism"(cos of his acting)...but Zinda turns out to be my 2nd fav film of tht of John's...

SANJAY DUTT--aaahhhh!!!my fav actor......
he is the turning point in the film...n the film revolves around him.....
the story takes a step ahead,when he's sad...
the story takes another step ,when he's angry,
the story takes another big step,when he's in action.....
overall, he's done a gr8 job....if u liked him in "Vaastav"(his bst performance so far(n my fav too),u'll love him more after seeing this film....

NOTE:--
dn't worry,there are no naach-gaana(song-dance),in this film..only three songs for the background score..but u must buy the album.....it's worth a buy...

be careful....there's a lot of sick kinda violence being used in this film....if u r not a weak hearted like me....u'll not have a problem,instead u'll be surprised to see the way those scenes have been captured by the lens...

MORAL:--
dark...darkness...hateredness...lots of action...the runnin n the chasin....and a bit of melodramatic shots...this is what the film,ZINDA...has for u.....
go and watch it....

i saw this film with a frnd of mine...but i'm soon plannin to see it for another time in the hall...and if possible...ALONE,for my satisfaction....
i jst fell in love with the film.....
n i know u will too....

chase the procrastination..it's fun

i have my pprs tom,last one to go,before i graduate in journalism(ofc,I have another semester to pass through,but theory has nthin to do with us anymore..only practicals;project n internship)..
but i jst cn't study..
i lose my focus…
n concentration dsn't seem to be under my control, it jst jumps off the track...

so i started to procrastinate too,jst the way u all do,jst the way our gr8 ppl like Archimedes n Newton too did(thnk u to “man in the box”..dn’t be confused,he’s a blogger)

didn’t know wat to do..was getting really pissed with my boredom..
so I read a book,listened to some music,watched a film("alfie"(new)),cudn't get enough of this one,so I saw anthr one,"citizen kane"..

5pm...still bored...
loneliness was gettin more n more silent..
so i walked out,stood in my balcony,with James Blunt playin "high"..

i gazed at the sky,watched the clouds fly by..n i knew,tht this was the best way of procrastinatin,n i loved it too..

series of paintings passed by..
watched the warriors fight..
while i stood there gazin at the sky,with my head held high...

some cloudy creatures were weird,
some were funny...
i even happened to see a phoenix,but in the midst of those clouds,tht were runnin in the sky..

i procrastinated more!!!
gazed more!!

clouds became more n more interestin,
n the time was slippin...

but then, when I come to think of it,
i dn't regret it all...

cos i really enjoyed it...

watchin the clouds go by,while I procrastinated….

SMOKE TO THE MOON

UP SHE GOES,
UP SHE GOES!!

SMOKE FROM MY MOUTH,
FLYING TO THE MOON..

UP SHE GOES,
UP SHE GOES!!

STARING AT A WINDOW,
THE CLOCK HAS STRUCK TWO..
BLINK-BLINKING OF THE RED LIGHT,
BEAT-BEATING OF MY HEART..

UP SHE GOES,
UP SHE GOES!!

EYES ARE WONDERING AROUND,
YELLOW,GREEN,BLUE AND WHITE LIGHT..
BUT THE NIGHT IS STRETCHING IT'S ARM,
WITH AN ENDLESS BLACK LIGHT..

UP SHE GOES,
UP SHE GOES!!

BODY IS GETTING WARM,
BUT THE COLD AIR SURROUND..
STARS ARE HIDDEN,
BEHIND THOSE CLOUDS..

UP SHE GOES,
UP SHE GOES!!

SMOKE IS EXHALED AGAIN,
FLYING TO THE MOON ONCE AGAIN..

UP SHE GOES,
UP SHE GOES!!

THE MOON HAS INVITED THE SMOKE,
SHE IS GOING,
SHE IS GOING..

AND SHE HAS GONE,
WAVING ME GOOD BYE!!!

craziness,humanity n its diffrent colours!!

GOOD MORNING TO THE CRAZINESS OF THE WORLD

Well,after writtin plethora of poems,the most depressin ones n the least depressin ones…I have finally put my foot down,but for somtime,to create an evironment,tht I wud call it a change for u all,but an improvement for me..lol…I guess,as to wat I think,tht none of u have an iota of wat I’m talking bout…so….this is whe the craziness actually starts,initiated by the proud owner of today’s topic….the evolution of craziness n the world spinnin in it….

Not more than a day,I have an xam…my 1st ppr of the 5th sem(wow!!the last sem of our theory xams,but not the the last sem..cos we have project n in internship to cover for our course:JOURNALISM..as sem 6th)…
on 12th,I have a ppr on Radio n Television,n on 17th,we have Government Information System…the shittiest subject of all,tht’s merely bcos I nvr attended this class….not tht my attendance has been stashed by me in the the coloumn of trash,but bcos..the teacher is simply one of those who sing lullaby to u n put u to sleep..i only wonder wat sort of coffee or wat brands are my fellowmates faggin tht keeps them awake…I simply dose off, or read a book,or write some poems(maximum of those have been written durin my class esp in this one..)or listen to my walkman(wish I cud sing it aloud “hey,teacher…leave the kids alone”…but sadly I’m the other brick in the wall..for I can proudly confess of being a scapegoat,but only to this context of wat I jst mentioned..cos of my killin honesty tht has infact killed me too,by confessin to wat I am..(I know…not very funny… it’s an insolent humour)..but jst laugh for the heck of it…for the sake of sarcasm…or the sarcasm will feel abandoned n aborted…if the extent of dead feedback is wacked out or unlimited…jst kiddin!!!

So,like I was telling u all…bout my ppr bein jst one day away..as it is today is 10th....yday,I spent merely 2hr studying the whole day…n durin night I was more busy reading stuff bout Poland n the buildings left after the disastrous Warsaw pact in the newspaper(Asian Age),n till 4 in the morning I was busy finishin my book “Round Rock”,by Michelle Hunven..not realisin dat I had to get up in the morning to go to milo’s place(milo is the sane girl,whose blog has been ardently read by u all…she’s a wonderful girl),to collect some additional notes on radio n t.v subject…I had to be accompanied by an another frnd of mine,well,it isn’t mirage,but Netra..another close frnd of mine,n there’s an another dear frnd of mine who is navdeep kaur..we call her bhajji…n this completes our circle of frnds with 5 girls,all totally different frm each other…but the thing tht we value the most n smthin worth talked bout amongst us..is the amount of space n the unlimited extent of freedom of speech(I top the list in the latter context…) tht we give to each other…n honesty is wat we rely on….and 24/7 we have concern for each other..
So,yes,comin back to wat I talking bout….after finishin tht book…I slept around 4 in the morning…n then by 9am…as crazy as my ring tone is too(infact…my ring tone is equally crazy…the tone yells out sayin…."wat if,wat if"..yeah..the same one sung by CREED,wich attracts not only everybdy’s attention..but freakes me out too,esp when it’s ringin in the morning…I got it by recordin it frm my music stereo)…n wat happens…instead of pickin up the cell..i walk till my main door,thinking tht my maid has rung the door bell…I walk with my eyes closed…n then I turn back towds my bed after chking at my door and seeing no one…n then see my cell ringin with the name on the screen.."NETRA"..n I go.."oh…god...no"…n then I answer the phone n she’s like,"nika bby,time to get up n get ready soon...gotta go!!"..
The phone gets disconnected..n i stand awkwardly,repeatin only one thing,”why in the fuckin morning”..until the door bell rings,n my maid steps in starts working…till tht time I make myself a cup of coffee..aaahhhh..my fav black coffee..n put the music on with pearl jam’s stuff(I dn’t rem wich album was it)..an hr passed,n I was done gettin ready,picked up my wallet,cell phone n my house keys…walked till the metro station..(oh..btw,I forgot to mention…netra stays only few blocks away..so I didn’t have to wait much..thnk god for tht)…so we met at the station…n the metro took off to our destination…
In between there were a lot of ppl whom we met were outrageous..be it in their mannerisms,or their physical appearance,or their sense of dressin,or their way of nappin while travellin….n there we were…busy passin comments n criticisms..n discussin bout whole lot of good stuff, bad stuff n shitty stuff…an amalgamation of everythin was evolving durin the phase of our boredom,wich created an interesting piece for us,but uncomfortable ambience for the others…sry,we were helpless…cos we were too bored..sittin in the metro..with nthin interstin but observin different modes n moods of humanity n the human beings…
The first one to be targeted was a sardar(attention to those who is thinking tht I’m gonna crack some jokes…no…it’s not tht,it’s jst tht with smthin tht I got embarrassed with…so plez,read on…it’s not goin drive u crazy..trust me on this..i dn’t do such mean things,cos I respect every religion…so I’m not goin to make any silly comment on it..it’s the craziness n how it dealt with me,tht got me..almost embarrassed)…I was carryin nthin but my wallet n the cell..so there was no bag tht I was carryin,but netra was carryin one..so she had to stop by the one of the counter(there were three of them),for a usual checkin…I mistakenly stopped by the third counter when I had nthin to get checked…n there,there was this tall sardar,with really long n trimmed beard…n had a very....very,very serious look on his face…accidently as I stopped I walked back makin a fool of myself sayin,"sry uncle,I jst have this...for checkin…"..n with this blunder of speech tht I made,I ended up laughin on his face,cos I was embarrassed,but he still had this look on his face,wich looked almost like as if he was bout to wack me…so netra pulled me away,n we both continued to laugh…

Nxt were the monks,dressed in tht maroon colored cloak…I really like tht wardrobe…so,I tried to dare netra,telling her to greet them by sayin,”tashi,tulae”..wich means hello(as in our Indian lang we mean..namaste)…she hesitated..so I tried to approach them jst for the heck of greetin..cos i was in the mood to do so....i tried once,but they cudn’t hear me..n there I embarrassed myself once again,n tht made netra laugh like crazy…so as we stepped on to the escalator..the monk was standin next to me…he looked pretty pissed…but I went ahead,greetin..to wich he initially ignored,made a face..n instantly,he smiled n replied sayin the same two words..”tashi,tulae”…I felt nice with the greetin, eventhough after being embarrassed,but he sure was pissed,thankfully not cos of me…hahaha

Nxt one,is a bit bizarre….while we were returnin to our home,by metro…we happened to confront two kinds of women,both wearin red colored clothes,but were strangers to each other ofc…
one woman,who was really big..big n huge for me…bumped me to one side of the metro wich got my arm injured,not badly,but the pain remains..while I sit here n write trash bout craziness to u all,n busy listenin to Stanley Dan..(ahh…there comes my fav "Hey Nighteen"......OOPS!Sry for the interruption)…n the other Lady In Red..was a lil weird than the other..she was doin certain kinda gestures dat,were more of a kind tht a whore wud do for a desperate invitation…
Apparently,we were busy giggling over the kinda act she was indulgin into..but when we saw tht there were actually no men,sittin next to her or opposite to her....but except for a woman and the two of us…we blindly guessed tht probably she was a dyke…we weren’t amused by the fact whether she was a hooker or a dyke,but we were partly aghast by the way she was evoking desperate attention in an outlandish manner,wich were pretty comical to us…

Well,this is how my day went along while the sun started to set…
Nthin gr8 bout wat I jst wrote…but wat one can relate to it is wat diff backgrounds are human from..n how does it appeal to us,esp in the language of humour…
Sometimes….even though it was rude on our part,to pass comments,criticse,discuss,giggle over it…but sometimes..it’s like a whole new thing tht u come to when u end up thinking tht even if I was observin ppl,I was actually exploring the diff phases of humanity…..

I wish I cud sketch them wat I saw n the kinda ppl I met head on…

I wish I cud write a poem on it….but either it wasn’t rhyming,nor did I find it all tht enthusing enough to compile them all together in a form of a poetry..

Cud have clicked pictures or recorded their actions,but cameras are strictly not allowed in the metro…
Thus,I only put them in a collection of words,only to be read by u all…telling n emphasizing on how interstin it can be when observin human beings and the humanity…passin comments,giggling n all are jst mere verbal form of negativity for u n for those who are the targets of it..but for us it was more like…as if we were getting to know them….smthin,tht most of us are neglecting, now a days…

I know,this post has consumed a lot of time…but if we jst analyse such lil things…they r actually smthin tht we can relate to in our daily form of life…smthin tht we can associate the similarities, rather than pointing out only the dissimilarities..

god made us...we r humans....so let's study them...by jst observin them!!!

BROKEN TO STITCHED TO OPEN...AN IMAGE!!

COFFEE IS BREWING,
FEELINGS ARE GROWING..

LONG GONE THE SIREN CASCADE!!
LONG GONE THOSE RAINY DAYS!!!!

FRESHNESS IS THE AROMA,
FRESHNESS IS THE CHANGE IN ME..

WHITE,WITH A GOLDEN LINNING CUP,
IN MY HAND.
DARK,WITH A GOLDEN LINNING CLOUD,
HERE TO STAND.

PIEGONS AROUND ME,
WHILE I LAZE AROUND IN MY BALCONY...
WITH A BOOK OPEN ON MY LAP,
I VISUALISE AN IMAGINARY MAP..................

"HOW LONG WII IT LAST?"
THAT'S WHAT I ASK..

"HOW FAR IS MY DESTINATION?"
THE MAP VANISHES,
INTO THE THIN AIR OF IMAGINATION!!!

A REFLECTION INFRONT OF ME,
I GAZE!!!!!!!
REFLECTING ON A BROKEN MIRROR,
THE IMAGE FADES!!!!!

LONG...GONE...THE SIREN CASCADE

ANGER IS DESIRING,
NICE IS THREATENING..
TO ME!! TO ME!! TO ME!!

"YES,FOR YOU!!"

FRUSTRATION IS BRIMMING,
CHOPPED...CHOPPED...CHOPPED!!
CHOPPED MY ALARMING WATERFALL..

BUT THE SCISSOR RUNS THROUGH,
THROUGH THE BLACK ENVIOUS FALL..

SKETCHING A FACELESS WOMAN,
BUT COLOURS RUN DRY..
MAKING A BEAUTIFUL PORTRAIT,
BUT CONSCIOUS IS YELLING AT ME..

FACING THE MIRROR,
I TALK!!!!!

TALKING TO LONELINESS INSIDE ME,
WITH A DISRUPTED MOUNTAIN,
RESTING ON TOP OF ME..

IT IS REMINDING ME,
OF MY PRETTY DAYS,
THAT ABUSED ME,
FOR LONG!!!

NOW THERE IS ONLY DARKNESS...
DARKNESS AND PEACE!!

AND I'M BACK ONCE AGAIN,
FACIN THE MIRROR.

I TALK ONCE AGAIN,
TO THE LONELINESS INSIDE ME..

"BUT WITH A SMILE!"



(this poem may sound a lil strange to u all...but it deals with smthin tht a person inside me ended up doin when the "frustration brimmed" to the extent of lettin tht person's frustration flow before it beomes unstopable n uncontrolable for her,by choppin off her most beautiful assest..so i let it all flow n thus the poem...lol )