hindi poem..my 1st
door,
rahaa na jayee.
paas,
baha naa jayee..
kab tak chalegee,
yeh dil ki saaz.
kab sunn payongee,
saans mein chupee raaz..
mehsuus kiya hain,
maine tujhe.
o,kathor,
chupaa na is pyaar ko..
layee hain bhadh,
humein tumhare paas..
phir bhi door chale jaa rahe hain,
yeh doobti paani,paani se...
------------------------------------
rahaa na jayee.
paas,
baha naa jayee..
kab tak chalegee,
yeh dil ki saaz.
kab sunn payongee,
saans mein chupee raaz..
mehsuus kiya hain,
maine tujhe.
o,kathor,
chupaa na is pyaar ko..
layee hain bhadh,
humein tumhare paas..
phir bhi door chale jaa rahe hain,
yeh doobti paani,paani se...
------------------------------------
posted by Anjalika at 7:44 AM
8 Comments:
hellos last two lines pls... it should be "layee hai Baadh"(Flood)
humein tumhare paas,
phir bhi door chale ja rahe hain,
Doobti is paani, pani mein
i hava go for dinner rt now... cya laters... :)
It is a very nice attempt .. m impressed,,, aakhir inspirations kahan se mili hain ... lol
@milo...
i think i like my version more...
ur poem has more of poetic touch to it,rather than the feel...but,no matter what it is..thnk u..and also for inspiring me...:)
Jo taar se nikli hai wo dhun sabne suni hai
Jo saaz pe guzri hai wo kis dil ko pata hai
a great first attempt..keep writing more
@desparado...
it was a trial...i'm glad it worked...
Great! To be able to express in both languages. Hats off to the first atempt. When do we see more? Look forward to it.
@IJ..
thnks pa...u r really sweet...i'm tryin,but let's see how far can i go with both the languages...i'm tryin really hard to improve my hindi n excell in english...
excellent :-) permit me to peek more into such stuff.
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