Thursday, March 13, 2008

just read it...i dn't have the apt title for it

sometimes...u don't understand why certain events happen with u...n there are many times when u don't get a clue as to how to smoothen ur problems...u do somethin,which is abrupt and way too honest,or u r giving ur point of view,it goes for a toss...gets rubbed in the wrong way,which is not what ur intention was...all this and u end up feeling guilty about the way u behaved....or in most times,disgusted...

u make an effort to b somewhere...n u don't.....u try to make up with people,but the responses die....u wait for the calls n make preparations to celebrate...nothing happens....u sleep n sleep,try different things on one fine morning..."hey,maybe i can try this", "how about this"..."will i earn enough?"...."will i be able to take care of myself,cos i dn't want to bother my father,whose duty speaks volume,yet u want to do somethin?"....u have survived enough...y not this???

there's no reluctance....n i'm not hesitating...n when the opportunities come,it just goes away without sayin good bye or even have the courtesy to ask u,"hey anjalika,sorry not this time...i apologise...hope u'll do fine...here's wishin u good luck"...i get to hear tht from people, but why is the deed(job) ignoring u....dsn't She have to say anythin about it....

it's a phase where i'm not just growing up,but also maturing from the more or less matured phase tht we all have pass through,which comes right after u r teens...i'm 23...way old enough to drive,vote,drink,go to 'The' parties,i can take my stand n make my decisions....so far,all of it has been done,thoroughly n i have also managed to achieve it and execute it....but there are still so many other things tht r still untouched...u r ready to go for it,but IT dsn't wanna say hello to u....it's more like i've yet to explore more on my own n also about me...

self-exploration is still hanging,but i'm unable to save it.....
tht's when u rely on ur career, n also try to establish ur relationship...but i have none...although it dsn't bother me at all when it comes to the latter...but my talent, my creativity my ability to work, just fades away with just one call.....n then i just sleep n sleep n sleep...

there goes the slumber,indefinately....n tht's unstoppable till i don't get myself together,which is the hardest thing...

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6 Comments:

Blogger milo said...

in all ur struggle, all ur efforts, remember .... your good frnds are always there for you, with you.

Try and be a little more stable, i am sure you will achieve what you are looking for.

And yes from our conversation, i would want tio say is watever u said if u really meant it and felt it... u will surely care more now... i can see the light!!

5:37 AM  
Blogger Anjalika said...

@milo...
i'll try my best to overcome it all..n reach for the "light",baby..lol

10:03 AM  
Blogger desperado said...

hey anjalika..you will do fine...you will..wishing you good luck

i don't know how i forgot your birthday considering it was actually rian who told me...and its exactly one month later that i have realised it :)

take care and stay strong...thts the important thing...believe in yourself..i know its all lofty and pretty useless when someone says such lines..but i hope you do it...

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are

9:50 AM  
Blogger Anjalika said...

@desparado..
hey dhruv,tht was very encouraging n very sweet of u...i'll do good,n i wish the same for u...take care n stay in touch....n also,thnk u for wishin me,dsn't matter if u forgot about it...it isn't all tht necessary,as much as it is to be in touch...

11:55 AM  
Blogger IJ said...

Negative or positive is a personal interpretation. Sometimes a career offer that slips away is actually an opportunity coming! Because if all we want comes our way then what is to follow has no chance!Some times the best gifts that God grants are the wishes he does not fulfill! Because if fulfilled based on mortal requests God could harm us. There is a correct time for everything. That time is destined by God all mighty. The intervening time should be used to strengthen the foundation by education, learning, travel and experince to prepare for the correct opportunity when it comes. And it will come. The Count could have given up in the prison. But he kept himself prepared: worked on his physique and education and did original thinking. So prepared was he that when the opportunity came there was none to match him in the world. Negativity and depressive shadows are synonyms. Positivity, sunshine, progress and happiness too are synonyms (in that context!). To every problem under the sun there is a solution or there is none. If there is one then find it; if there is none then never mind it!!

3:20 PM  
Blogger Salik Shah said...

that's life... stop complaining and live it... we've to anyway :)

7:23 PM  

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